Throw In A Little Water, Commute and Funny Video
I swear, I fear for the day when there is an actual disaster in this city. Throw in a little water and the whole place goes berserk or damn near shuts down. Should that water be frozen, well, we are not even gonna talk about that.
Due to a thunderstorm last night, the subway lines flooded all over the city. My commute was OK until it connected with the 7 Train at Queensboro Plaza. You see, the 7 Train originates in Flushing which has a huge Asian population. That huge Asian population rides the trains like this is the overpopulated city of Tokyo or Seoul. They are extremely aggressive, impatient and being packed in like sardines does not bother them in the least. They can be all these things and still try to eat Noodle on the train while reading the paper. If they are not eating noodle and they do manage to get a seat they are falling asleep. Many times I have had to awaken Strange Asian that was snoring on my shoulder, and you just feel weird - kind of violated, yet you feel like you are imposing by waking them up, bless their sleepy little hearts.
So this morning, the train got so packed at Queensboro Plaza that I managed to sit in my seat and get hit in the head twice before the next stop - by 2 different people. Before I got to the Fifth Avenue stop, I got hot and couldn't breathe and started coughing until I found my inhaler and some cool mint gum in my bottomless pit of a purse. Train is still packed. Before the next stop, I opened my mouth and my gum fell in my cleavage. So many people saw. I started to go mining for it and then quit and then started again and then gave up. The guy beside me offered and I just shook my head and mouthed 'Thanks anyway'. Then we were stuck in the tunnel for 20 minutes not 5 feet from my stop. I swear I tried to morph myself to the platform - It was right f'ing there! So close yet so far! It was hot, I had gum between my boobs and the Asian guy that unsuccessfully tried to squeeze in between me and Pervy-Wanna-Be-Oh-So-Helpful-Guy while still standing pulled out his lunch bag and yes, he opened up Noodle and started to indulge himself while flinging broth all over the rest of us. It happened to be Seafood Noodle and I held the neck of my shirt up close around me in case there was a rogue calamari in there that may want my gum along with his slung out freedom. I was kind of leaning on Pervy but at this point, I couldn't have given a shit. Finally we got to my stop, I made my way through the hurdle, gasped for air, stuck my hang down my shirt to find the gum had gotten hot and stuck to my bra and skin and was now getting stuck to my shirt. So, I put the gum back between my boobs and walked to work, passing Christian Science Warriors, Homeless Bagel Guy, Tour Bus Pushers, Wandering Tourists and some publicity stunt tent giving out free underwear. Once at work I found out there was no alcohol in the medicine cabinet to fix my gum problem, so I went in my boss’s office, shut the door and found the bottle of Grey Goose I knew to be in there and scrubbed all the gum off from everything. When I came out, I smelled like an alcoholic at 10:30 am and when I opened my mouth to say "Good Morning" to the 6 people staring at me like they were about to send me to The Betty, my new gum fell out of my mouth and onto the floor. It’s still there and there it shall stay.
And now, here is a cute little Harry Potter video my Momma sent me this morning.
Due to a thunderstorm last night, the subway lines flooded all over the city. My commute was OK until it connected with the 7 Train at Queensboro Plaza. You see, the 7 Train originates in Flushing which has a huge Asian population. That huge Asian population rides the trains like this is the overpopulated city of Tokyo or Seoul. They are extremely aggressive, impatient and being packed in like sardines does not bother them in the least. They can be all these things and still try to eat Noodle on the train while reading the paper. If they are not eating noodle and they do manage to get a seat they are falling asleep. Many times I have had to awaken Strange Asian that was snoring on my shoulder, and you just feel weird - kind of violated, yet you feel like you are imposing by waking them up, bless their sleepy little hearts.
So this morning, the train got so packed at Queensboro Plaza that I managed to sit in my seat and get hit in the head twice before the next stop - by 2 different people. Before I got to the Fifth Avenue stop, I got hot and couldn't breathe and started coughing until I found my inhaler and some cool mint gum in my bottomless pit of a purse. Train is still packed. Before the next stop, I opened my mouth and my gum fell in my cleavage. So many people saw. I started to go mining for it and then quit and then started again and then gave up. The guy beside me offered and I just shook my head and mouthed 'Thanks anyway'. Then we were stuck in the tunnel for 20 minutes not 5 feet from my stop. I swear I tried to morph myself to the platform - It was right f'ing there! So close yet so far! It was hot, I had gum between my boobs and the Asian guy that unsuccessfully tried to squeeze in between me and Pervy-Wanna-Be-Oh-So-Helpful-Guy while still standing pulled out his lunch bag and yes, he opened up Noodle and started to indulge himself while flinging broth all over the rest of us. It happened to be Seafood Noodle and I held the neck of my shirt up close around me in case there was a rogue calamari in there that may want my gum along with his slung out freedom. I was kind of leaning on Pervy but at this point, I couldn't have given a shit. Finally we got to my stop, I made my way through the hurdle, gasped for air, stuck my hang down my shirt to find the gum had gotten hot and stuck to my bra and skin and was now getting stuck to my shirt. So, I put the gum back between my boobs and walked to work, passing Christian Science Warriors, Homeless Bagel Guy, Tour Bus Pushers, Wandering Tourists and some publicity stunt tent giving out free underwear. Once at work I found out there was no alcohol in the medicine cabinet to fix my gum problem, so I went in my boss’s office, shut the door and found the bottle of Grey Goose I knew to be in there and scrubbed all the gum off from everything. When I came out, I smelled like an alcoholic at 10:30 am and when I opened my mouth to say "Good Morning" to the 6 people staring at me like they were about to send me to The Betty, my new gum fell out of my mouth and onto the floor. It’s still there and there it shall stay.
And now, here is a cute little Harry Potter video my Momma sent me this morning.
posted by Wigwam at 1:15 PM
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