How Bout Them Cowboys!

Went to the Giants/Cowboys game Sunday. It was great! Colder than a witch's tit (I don't know what that means), but it was fun!

Cowboys won in the last 6 seconds of the game which was great for me. I took Andy (my British Scientist friend) and he had never been to a Cowboys game before, let alone with a girl from Texas, and I think he was a little surprised at my enthusiastic reactions and sports opinions. I am very thankful there were some of My People sitting a few rows back from me.

It is always amazing to me the philosophy of some Sports fans. Here are some words of wisdom I picked up that day.

On the bus ride before the game even started:

Life is too short to pull up your pants (What does that mean?)

There are so many seagulls around the stadium because they mistake concrete for the ocean. (Yeah buddy - I hope one shits on your head - if you were a bird, I think you would mistake concrete for the ocean. You would be the only bird to mistake concrete for the ocean. Silly Wanker.)

You cannot bring in a bag because you cannot bring in bags. (Well, that explains it.)

After Half Time and Giants Stadium ran out of beer:

[Screaming at the top of his lungs because he was a Giants fan and they were in The Red Zone and it said ‘Quiet Please’ on the screen across] “Shut the Fuck Up People! Quiet Dammit! Sit Down!” Yes. We all needed him to police that.

[Same Guy after the 2 Minute Warning] “Take your time! Time doesn’t matter! Just take your time! Time doesn’t matter!” over and over again for the whole remaining 2 minutes which felt like a million years. Funny thing is, the Cowboys kicked a winning Field Goal and it left 1 second on the clock. So at that point, time really didn’t matter, the Cowboys had won it. Fucking Genius, that man was.

And an important lesson learned by experience that day:

Never not pee before getting on a bus.