Everything Happens For A Reason
My last weekend in Texas I had planned on spending with my family. I did for the most part of it.
You see I had planned on going back to NYC on the 16th at first, then something came up and I was really wanting to get back by the 9th. For some reason I just kept delaying it and delaying it and delaying it.
My best friend is so fed up with her job and she is quitting after 13.5 years. Friday night she really needed me and I was glad I was here.
The weather has gotten really icey and immobile in North Texas and she dropped me off at my family's house early on Saturday. I had maybe been there 2 minutes and then I had to take Mamaw to the Emergency Room and we spent the day together there. It tears me up to see the fear in her eyes and the pain she suffers. She is 81 but still has the spirit of an 18 year old. She better have at least 10 more years left.
I love them so much and saying bye when my trip is over is the hardest thing in the world for me.
I am having such a hard time figuring out where I belong in this world. I think I will just quit trying so hard to search it out. It is in God's hands now and to be quite honest, I feel better about that as I feel I am not doing anything too right these last few weeks. Months, really. Surrender of all my woes and troubles and control is my only option and surprisingly, a most welcome one. The illusion of strength is more than I can bare right now.
I am just so tired.
You see I had planned on going back to NYC on the 16th at first, then something came up and I was really wanting to get back by the 9th. For some reason I just kept delaying it and delaying it and delaying it.
My best friend is so fed up with her job and she is quitting after 13.5 years. Friday night she really needed me and I was glad I was here.
The weather has gotten really icey and immobile in North Texas and she dropped me off at my family's house early on Saturday. I had maybe been there 2 minutes and then I had to take Mamaw to the Emergency Room and we spent the day together there. It tears me up to see the fear in her eyes and the pain she suffers. She is 81 but still has the spirit of an 18 year old. She better have at least 10 more years left.
I love them so much and saying bye when my trip is over is the hardest thing in the world for me.
I am having such a hard time figuring out where I belong in this world. I think I will just quit trying so hard to search it out. It is in God's hands now and to be quite honest, I feel better about that as I feel I am not doing anything too right these last few weeks. Months, really. Surrender of all my woes and troubles and control is my only option and surprisingly, a most welcome one. The illusion of strength is more than I can bare right now.
I am just so tired.
posted by Wigwam at 12:55 AM
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