Sex In The City. And, In The Country.
While speaking with some of my single girlfriends in their 30’s, like myself, we have come to the conclusion that we have faced similar dilemmas in the happenings with various mates.
One thing we have in common is the attraction to the older male. The older male is my personal favorite. Now, I am not talking Anna Nicole Smith attraction to the older male – just males in the 5 to 15 years our senior attraction. They are generally more experienced in life and tend to be more experienced when it comes to specific pleasurable aspects of it. They most certainly know their way around “The Outback”, or as my Australian roomy calls The Outback, “The Bush”.
While in our youth, we used to pull all-nighters with several episodes in one night. This would tend to make every muscle in our bodies sore for the next 3 days. Of course we didn’t have real jobs so we would just call in to work so we could catch up on sleep. Nowadays, we pull all-nighters with one very brief, yet intensely pleasurable, episode and then our mouths tend to be sore the next day from all the talking. This is not all men, but some of them.
Older men tend to like to cuddle more. This leads we 30 –somethings to be in a very confused state. When younger we tended to be the ones that craved affection while the boys just wanted to go hang out with the other boys when it was all said and done. Some of them fell immediately into a coma-like slumber. Now, quite frankly I just feel the need to get the hell outta there; for it is what it is and there is no reason for them to feel they have to suck me into believing it is anything other than that, and I really don’t want anything else from them. If I did, we would hang out for the whole weekend and I would not try to escape. Older men sometimes seem stunned by the no nonsense escape mode that we exhibit.
There is one condition that select males as young as 33 start having. My friend just had her first Mister, meaning, he was an older MAN. I could never get his name right, so we just called him Cletus. I will not mention real names here to protect the innocent. Cletus had, at times, a problem with his broomstick being a little too limber to properly clean the walls in the cave. We now affectionately refer to this dysfunction as Cletitus. Another dysfunction with this encounter is it was initially set-up and put together by friends that are a couple. Now this couple thinks my friend and Cletus are not a very good idea, so they try to separate them when possible (in other words, put on the cock block). This is now referred to as Cletitus Interruptus and is quite effective as you just feel guilty for making anyone uncomfortable or feel awkward, you don’t want to fight it any longer and you wear yourself down so you eventually go home (alone). Or more accurately, you're sneaking around like two teenagers hiding from the parents.
Yet another dilemma I will speak of today is one a lot of single girls in their 30’s participate in. It is the Revisitation Of A Former Lover Syndrome. We see someone we used to see, think of all the chemistry from years ago and then eventually hook up again with this in mind. Then we see the person as they are now and we are completely disenchanted. It’s our own fault. It's hard to put the boy with the man. We have bettered ourselves and so we think they have too.
This happened recently to an old friend of mine. She experienced Revisitation Of A Former Lover Syndrome and it was all together different than she thought it would be. The chemistry was not what it could have been and with all his experiences that made him feel to be a more enlightened man, he still thought and acted like the same boy of years ago. Whenever the subject veared away from himself, he had nothing to say. He never asked anything of what had become of her in the last decade. When trying to call off this snoozer of a lovefest, my friend sent him a very direct yet sincere e-mail stating it was not a good idea and wishing him well. He then tried to make it seem like she thought it was something it wasn’t and he didn’t want a girlfriend. I hate to burst his bubble, but she would never EVER even consider for one split second that he would have a chance in hell of being her boyfriend. She was just passing the time and 'getting the rent paid.'
Lastly, I want to mention a variation of the Revisitation Of A Former Lover Syndrome that I myself suffered from. It is when something went terribly wrong years ago and the chemistry was off or maybe you were adventurous and he wasn't. You see him now that he could have changed into this wild-sex beast that is thoughtful, spontaneous and interesting. My experience failed miserably as he still is, and I presume always will be, a stupid ass.
And that is my first monthly attempt at being Carrie Bradshaw. More to come in April. Sooner, if the mood strikes me.
One thing we have in common is the attraction to the older male. The older male is my personal favorite. Now, I am not talking Anna Nicole Smith attraction to the older male – just males in the 5 to 15 years our senior attraction. They are generally more experienced in life and tend to be more experienced when it comes to specific pleasurable aspects of it. They most certainly know their way around “The Outback”, or as my Australian roomy calls The Outback, “The Bush”.
While in our youth, we used to pull all-nighters with several episodes in one night. This would tend to make every muscle in our bodies sore for the next 3 days. Of course we didn’t have real jobs so we would just call in to work so we could catch up on sleep. Nowadays, we pull all-nighters with one very brief, yet intensely pleasurable, episode and then our mouths tend to be sore the next day from all the talking. This is not all men, but some of them.
Older men tend to like to cuddle more. This leads we 30 –somethings to be in a very confused state. When younger we tended to be the ones that craved affection while the boys just wanted to go hang out with the other boys when it was all said and done. Some of them fell immediately into a coma-like slumber. Now, quite frankly I just feel the need to get the hell outta there; for it is what it is and there is no reason for them to feel they have to suck me into believing it is anything other than that, and I really don’t want anything else from them. If I did, we would hang out for the whole weekend and I would not try to escape. Older men sometimes seem stunned by the no nonsense escape mode that we exhibit.
There is one condition that select males as young as 33 start having. My friend just had her first Mister, meaning, he was an older MAN. I could never get his name right, so we just called him Cletus. I will not mention real names here to protect the innocent. Cletus had, at times, a problem with his broomstick being a little too limber to properly clean the walls in the cave. We now affectionately refer to this dysfunction as Cletitus. Another dysfunction with this encounter is it was initially set-up and put together by friends that are a couple. Now this couple thinks my friend and Cletus are not a very good idea, so they try to separate them when possible (in other words, put on the cock block). This is now referred to as Cletitus Interruptus and is quite effective as you just feel guilty for making anyone uncomfortable or feel awkward, you don’t want to fight it any longer and you wear yourself down so you eventually go home (alone). Or more accurately, you're sneaking around like two teenagers hiding from the parents.
Yet another dilemma I will speak of today is one a lot of single girls in their 30’s participate in. It is the Revisitation Of A Former Lover Syndrome. We see someone we used to see, think of all the chemistry from years ago and then eventually hook up again with this in mind. Then we see the person as they are now and we are completely disenchanted. It’s our own fault. It's hard to put the boy with the man. We have bettered ourselves and so we think they have too.
This happened recently to an old friend of mine. She experienced Revisitation Of A Former Lover Syndrome and it was all together different than she thought it would be. The chemistry was not what it could have been and with all his experiences that made him feel to be a more enlightened man, he still thought and acted like the same boy of years ago. Whenever the subject veared away from himself, he had nothing to say. He never asked anything of what had become of her in the last decade. When trying to call off this snoozer of a lovefest, my friend sent him a very direct yet sincere e-mail stating it was not a good idea and wishing him well. He then tried to make it seem like she thought it was something it wasn’t and he didn’t want a girlfriend. I hate to burst his bubble, but she would never EVER even consider for one split second that he would have a chance in hell of being her boyfriend. She was just passing the time and 'getting the rent paid.'
Lastly, I want to mention a variation of the Revisitation Of A Former Lover Syndrome that I myself suffered from. It is when something went terribly wrong years ago and the chemistry was off or maybe you were adventurous and he wasn't. You see him now that he could have changed into this wild-sex beast that is thoughtful, spontaneous and interesting. My experience failed miserably as he still is, and I presume always will be, a stupid ass.
And that is my first monthly attempt at being Carrie Bradshaw. More to come in April. Sooner, if the mood strikes me.
posted by Wigwam at 1:47 PM
2 Comments:
Older men and the outback. Yeah, I'll give it a thumbs up. Some young'ns have been lost in the bush and have never been heard of again.
I had a friend that was 'e-dumped' like you described above. It never goes over well. But sometimes that's what you have to do!!!!
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