Big Ole Move, Thumb Monkeys, Warpath, Obstruction and Shipping

I am going through all my stuff getting ready to sell the lot of it. It is amazing what one acquires over the years. I found some cool stuff I have not seen in years that I have not thought about in as long, that I am so damn sad to sell. But, it is just stuff and I am sure I will get more stuff along the way. The gorilla flashlight is already spoken for, so I am off to a good start.

I have always wanted a thumb monkey. They are so cute. I saw one at the Bronx Zoo one time and I have secretly plotted to somehow put one in my pocket ever since. It's not gonna happen, but I want one nonetheless. I don't even know what they are really called. It would cost like 50 cents a week to feed. But I am sure I would lose mine and get in big fat trouble.

I am about to declare war on McDonalds. I have the same f*cking order every time I go in there and every time I get home, it is wrong in the same way. The people that own it are Indian. From the country, India. And I am Native American, or Indian. So I guess this will be Injun vs. Eastern Injun. If they were'nt the only place around here that has Dr. Pepper on tap, I swear. . .

God, my tits are big. Every damn month they get like this. I mean sure they are fun and make nice pillows, but who the hell wants to carry pillows on their chest everywhere you go? I think that can be my excuse for moving. "Well, Mr. Landlord, I love it here, I do. I mean I love it like a son of a bitch. But my boobs got so big I had to find another apartment. In Texas. Where everything is big. Sorry."

Shipping charges are outrageous. For a little 3 pound box I literally balanced on top of my head down to the copy place, they wanted $87.29 to ship it to England. That is approximately $29.09 per pound. I am in the wrong business. I reckon a plane would pay for itself the first full load if anyone wants to go into the shipping business.