I Am A Teenager Again

Being back in Texas, I am unemployed and completely broke, however, I am completely relaxed and pretty much worry free in comparison to the last few years. I also am staying with my family until I get back on my feet. We get along better than ever, but . . .

I so often have wondered how my youth passed so quickly and there are days that I have those "If I knew then what I know now I would definitely do it all over again" thoughts. Well, it is kind of like that right now. So I definitely am aware of what I know now and I am trying to apply it to the my-family-thinks-it-is-back-then time.

My 7-year-old nephew lives with us too. I don't have the Kid Gene, but we hang out alot and I take him to do errands with me. Lots of times because I don't want to wear a bra and he can fetch things for me, but generally because I enjoy his company and he thinks I am cool.

We have been walking every night (for the past 2 nights). The first night I took him to the track at the high school which he had never been to before. The next night we walked The Museum District.

Every time I leave the house my mom asks me where I am going and what I will be doing. I am not used to answering such inquiries anymore and the answer is always the same as it has been since I was 13. "Out." I just feel better telling the little white lie than I do by telling her I am actually going to go get laid or get shit-faced or speed in Mamaw's car. Anne dropped a hint to me to tell just little tid bits and the questioning would stop.

So, last night I said I was taking Jason and said we would be back later and Mom said "Where are you taking him and what will you be doing? I have to know so I can decide if he can go or not." My answer was as follows: "Well, first we are gonna go and steal a car, a really nice and fast one so Mamaw's car will not be tracked, then we are going to hold up a bank. Then the insurance company is paying me big money to do a gig at the nursing home where I have to assassinate a few of them from over the dirt hill after early supper but before cards. After that we will sneak into a rated R movie. I then have to sell my ass on the streets for a couple of hours so Jason will have to sit with my pimp and the other hoes. Then we have a quick rally to attend with the White Supremacist group. Jason's hair is so short, they should let him in for free. Round about midnight we have the church service to attend to worship Satan and burn some Christians at the stake. We may grab some tacos afterward and we are out of Dr. Pepper so I wil pick some up in time for my heroin run - you know how I hate doing smack on an empty stomach. Jason will then have to drive us to the zoo where we will climb the fence directly into the lion's den so I will have a cool place to be high - don't worry, they are my people. We have to go back and pick up Mamaw's car and then it is off to Jessee's Donuts before I bring him home in time to wash up for school."

She said "What, Honey?" I then felt like a complete shit bitch and told her we were going walking.

I love my Momma.