Recent Happenings

Me and Fanky and Anne and Roxanna were at the Belmont the year Funny Cide was up for the Triple Crown. It was raining and freezing but the atmosphere was electric. The crowd was so proud to have a New York horse that did them proud in New York City. The all sang New York New York before the race and there were a million umbrellas in sight. I will never forget that day.

I am very excited that Big Brown may win The Triple Crown. I just love his name. It sounds like something I would name one of my beloved pets. Their names always evolve and I never really know why. Here are some examples:

Small Cat - Mall Cat - Molly - Little Booka

Elwood - Elwood Roe Wilson - Mr. Wilson - El Presidente - Elvis

Moggy - Mogwai - Mogalish

Isis - Icee - Baby Kitty - Baby Girl - Baby Swirl

Kitty - Miss Kitty - Queen Bee

I went shooting for the first time in my life. I have always been anti-gun. Then I come home to realize that all my close peeps and family have vast gun collections. Most of them said they were afraid to tell me. So when the telephone rang early one Saturday morning and I was invited to go shooting I accepted. On the hour trip there, I was excited. Then when pulling into the range I was scared shitless.

That gun looked like a mean fucker to me. There was the fact that I could have killed someone with it. I was not worried about that as much as I was worried I would hit the other people's targets and get in big fat trouble. I didn't even have my glasses on. So there mere 100 foot target appeared to be about 2 states away from me. But I was amazed at the control I had and then the immense power you feel. I felt like Annette Benning in American Beauty.

I am so short that I had to balance the gun on his bag. I was doing so well and he was spotting for me and told me I was pretty much on target and then something happened that made me pee a little. I took a shot that I was sure was dead on. The next thing I hear is something blow up. Then white stuff stared floating all around me. Here is what I thought and the range of emotions I went through in about 2.3 seconds:

1. Utter shock . . . White stuff floating "Oh God! I killed a bird!" About to Ricki-Sob . . .

2. "Hey! Those feathers have words on them!" Panic . . . .

3. "Shit! I think I shot his birth certificate!" Excitement . . .

4. "Confetti! Yeah! I think I won!" Confusion . . . .

It turned out that the gas from the end of the gun expelled into the pocket of the bag and there was a flier in there. The gas blew it to pieces. It was comical after it happened. I still do not know why I thought he carried his birth certificate in his gun bag, but I did and that is all I have to say about that. Other than I fucking rocked and I bet with some practice I could be a paid assassin. But I think I only want to be hired to hunt poachers. And then I would do it pro bono.

I hate my current temp job. It blows and not in a good way. I want a real job and I want it now.

I get to spend a weekend at The Four Seasons next month.

I feel like there is something much bigger I need to be doing with my life. Am I the only one that feels that way?

I will say I have done things the last few weeks that I would never thought of attempting 5 months ago. I love that about life. The unexpected pleasantness of being home and still doing new things after living here most of my life. Doing new things anywhere. I feel my free spirit and adventurous spontaneous self waking up after a decade long winter.

And has anyone eaten a hamburger at Love Shack? I want one.

I think me and Merly need to go to Shit T's this Sunday.