Anger Management

I was asked today if I have ever been so angry at someone that I threw something. This is funny to me as it takes a lot to get me angry but I am indeed a Thrower, although I have terrible aim. It was also funny to me because I was talking to my best friend just yesterday and she said she was so frustrated at something that she threw some of her clothes. She then asked me if I knew how ungratifying it was to throw clothing as it really goes nowhere. I do indeed.

I have 2 friends on MySpace that can play witness to this fit.
The first time I was ever mad enough to throw something was when Rodney and Ethan and I lived at the house out on Eagle Mountain Lake. We had just gotten some Taco Bell with Karen Fimbrez and we were all sitting in the living room and Ethan said, out of nowhere, he was moving back into his parent’s house. Ok, fine. Then he said he was taking Baby Kitty (Small Cat) with him. I objected and said if he wanted she could stay at the lake house because she was so happy there. He was about to say yes and then Rodney said with much intended authority “That’s his cat. He needs to take her.” I thought fire was running through my veins. I was sitting on the floor maybe 3 feet from Rodney and the only thing in my hand was a taco. So I threw it as hard as I could. I don’t think it even went 4 inches in front of me. I am not so sure it somehow did not wind up behind me. Baloo, our wolf dog, ran in and ate it. Then to add insult to insult, Karen looked at me and said “God, you’re tough.” Ethan did take Small Cat the next day. But then he called me a week later to come and get her. Karen and I went in the fog around his parents house scared to death his dad was gonna mistake us for burglars and shoot us. Luckily his mom put her inside for us. Small Cat came to live with me again and she is still to this day the best cat in the world, currently residing in Texas, currently being spoiled by Mamaw. She is small.

The next throwing episode also happened at the lake house. I can rightfully blame PMS for this one. It was a gorgeous spring day. Rodney had volunteered to go get hamburgers at Griff’s. That sounds easy enough but the trip to Griff’s and back was about 40 minutes each way. I told him my order - hamburger with mustard and ketchup only. NO LETTUCE – it’s wilted and gross and I hate mayo. I was starving by the time he got home. We had a table on the porch with a view of the lake and I had the back door open while I did some spring cleaning. Rodney came in, got his food and proceeded to walk to the table on the porch. About that time, I opened my hamburger and all it had on it was mayo and lettuce. Lots of lettuce. I screamed “MOTHER FUCKER!” and from the kitchen threw the hamburger through the living room, out the back door; it whizzed past Rodney’s ear and landed about 12 feet from the porch. Baloo was right behind it and quickly devoured any evidence of my fit. I don’t remember (selective memory and I have really tried to block this one out), but I think he accidentally took my hamburger instead and obviously, I threw his at him.

This was not out of anger, but when my friend Robert and I moved to New York, we witnessed our first snow. I insisted we go outside and play in it. We did and we made snow angels and ran around and acted like we were 5. I turned my back and made a snowball. I mean a good, hard, well put together snowball. I didn’t aim, not that that would have done any good, and I just threw it in his direction. It hit him right in the nose and mouth and completely smashed apart. He was so stunned he almost fell over. I was so stunned and secretly proud that I screamed “EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” and ran in the house.

Now that I think about it, I would really like to take archery lessons.

Bob Loblaw Law Blog

Randomness:

Watched 24 last night. I think this season is good, but not as intense as last year. I do have the feeling Jack Bauer is gonna beat Chad Lowe's ass before the end of this season.

Thinking about going to Texas for a visit in April. I have a hankering to get outside in some warm weather, to go to Lone Star Park and I need to dine at The Big Raunchy.

More people need to read my blog. Please put the word out there. I looked at some of the most read blogs out there and I have to tell you they did absolutely nothing for me. They are dullards, bless their hearts. And if you can think of any thing you want me to write about send questions and curiosities to me and I will try to accommodate. I think soon I am going to write some true stories of my life that are sentimental, entertaining and funny.

There is a picture I need to get on the block around the corner from my apartment. It is of a big green Clothes Donation box. Somebody messed with the stick on letters and it says "Please deposit clothes and hoes for the needy here." What about the needy hoes? It did not elaborate, but I guess if they deposited themselves, their neediness would eventually go away too.

Whilst reflecting on the Academy Awards, I have come to the conclusion that Anne Hathaway really queezes me. She presented the award for Best Costumes in a dress that looked like it came straight out of an 80's prom. I mean first she does some Princess movie that every 9 and under female goes to see, then she shows her tits in a gay cowboy movie, then plays an assistant and now she is big-time enough to present at the Oscars. In that case, I had a pink formal with a big bow on it in high school, plenty of people have seen my boobs and I am indeed a damn good assistant for real. I will have my people contact The Academy prior to next year’s awards to see what I will be presenting.

I would kill for a Ding Dong right now, if I could find one. Up here, they are called Ho-Hos. Do we see a disturbing pattern going on here?

If you have never seen the show Arrested Development, I highly suggest you do. It is so damn funny.

The 7th and final book of the Harry Potter series comes out July 21, 2007. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix hits movie theaters July 13th, 2007.

I love stationary. There is a Crane’s shop right across from my job and I have a feeling with me being here their profits will increase by 2Q.

I was thinking about Fanky’s granny last night. She is so sweet and she has said the funniest shit and didn’t even know it. Hope Merle is in town next time I go back. I want a pretty pink cookie and to go to the Dinosaur park. Maybe this time we can actually go and visit the Wildlife park instead of just looking at the free animals in the front. They are worth seeing, but I want to see where the wild things are.

Wishin I Could Count Some Sheep

Bored to tears at the moment.

I had ABSOLUTELY no sleep last night. My stress is high with no relief in sight and I have looked back on the most important issues in life at the moment and I realized I have not shed one tear. So, needing a good cry, I rented The English Patient, for 3 reasons; Ralph-Hot-Ass-McGee-Fiennes, Colin Firth and I needed to cry. I had only gotten through 1/2 of it when the Academy Awards came on. Watched that whole thing that was over at midnight and then watched the rest of my movie. Not 1 tear shed. I fear I am now Ice Bitch.

Tried to go to sleep at 2:00 and got up 3 times before 2:25 due to temperature inconsistency. It was snowing outside, the heat was on, my toes were cold and the rest of me felt like I had been in a third world country sweat shop for a little over a week with no food or water or fans or windows.

Finally got comfortable and my roommate came home, scared the hell out of me, I screamed "Momma!" which scared the hell out of him and then we just stared at each other for an eternal minute while the cats hid under the bed, but not before one of them created a gaping wound across my chest during the mayhem.

It is now 3:15 and I decide to go make myself some British Hot Chocolate and make it with milk and cream. This just made my mind alert and my body completely useless and begging me to allow it to be the noodle it wants to be. But my mind wanted to sit there and play Sudoku. After solving 11 Expert puzzles, I was ready to go to bed. It was then 5:10.

At 5:25 I had to get up and pick up the entire contents of my purse as my little cat thought that is where she wanted to sleep for the remainder of the night, so she scratched everything out one by one and crawled to the bottom. One by one meaning each separate coin, each separate cough drop, each separate piece of anything.

5:57; I have 48 minutes before my alarm goes off. Now my mind is insisting on sleep and my body is too busy kicking my own ass for not being a noodle when it told me to. I am so stupid at this point, I drooled. I always told my best friend "Never go to bed ugly." I thought it was in case there was an emergency and hunky firemen would have to kick the door down or someone may for once on their life be spontaneous and decide he needed to see me in the dead of night. I always put on lipstick before I go to bed. I now know why. It is for when people may see me in this state and then they would say "Poor, poor Ricki. She is so sleepy and pitiful, she is drooling. But that is the best fucking red lipstick I have ever seen."

Time to get up. Got in the shower which usually invigorates me a bit. Nothin. Had the breakfast of champions - coffee and a ciggy - still nothin. Dried my hair and got dressed. Went outside in the snow - nothin.

4:46 pm - still nothin. I am fixin to go home, make supper and watch 24. Then, I have a pain killer with my name on it and I am going to crash.

I am sorry I have nothing more exciting to write about than my lack of sleep, which is enough to put anyone to sleep. Except me.

S & S

I got a new gig at Simon and Schuster Publishing House. It is in Rockefeller Plaza and . . . I have my own office.

'Bout damn time.

My Year - Year of The Boar

The Boar's year is one of plenty. La dolce vita is very much advocated and practiced by the sensual Boar. If life is worth living, it must be lived to the hilt. Such is his motto. The Boar is as lavish with gifts as he is with affection. He takes pride in being chivalrous and extravagant. It would be ill-advised to overspend this year or make sizable investments without thorough investigation. We may also come to regret impulsive acts of generosity made on the spur of the moment.

This year will find us entertaining a lot more than usual and getting ourselves involved in all sorts of charitable and social functions. We find it a lot easier to make friends in the Boar's tolerant and expansive atmosphere.

THE BOAR PERSONALITY

This is the sign of honesty, simplicity and great fortitude. Gallant, sturdy and courageous, a person born in this year will apply himself to an allotted task with all his strength and you can rely on him to see it through. Outwardly, he may appear rough-hewn and jovial, but scratch the surface and you will find pure gold.

The Boar is bound to be one of the most natural people you could come across. The original nice guy, winner of the "Charlie Brown" award, he will never hit you below the belt. The Boar person is popular and sought after because he seeks universal harmony. No doubt he will have fights and differences with others, but he will not carry grudges unless you give him no choice. He doesn't like to add fuel to the fire in a confrontation and will usually let bygones be bygones. The lenient boar will always take the first step forward and establish excellent rapport with others. If he fails, it certainly won't be for lack of trying at his end. He will be blessed with great endurance. He can work steadily on one thing at a time with incredible patience and will make an excellent and exact teacher.

However, he is equally reputed for his wanton pursuit of pleasure and even depravity, when he emphasizes his negative traits.

In his life, the loyal and thoughtful Boar will make lasting and beneficial friendships. He enjoys gatherings of all kinds, giving parties and hosting fetes, joining clubs and all kinds of associations. A quiet organizer, who hates arguments and bickering, he is capable of bringing people of all sides together. His credibility and sincerity are his best assets. Yet, he can be a bit too affable and condescending at times, and he also expects others to tolerate his weaknesses.

The Boar will simply grow on you until you cannot do without him. The solicitous Boar is synonymous with diligence and shining, old-fashioned chivalry. He won't mind taking up the burdens of others; he won't rebel at staying in the background or even supporting the whole cast with his incredible strength. He is the kind of person we tend to take for granted until he leaves us to fend for ourselves--totally stunned by our dependency on him.

It will be easy to trust the kindly boar. He rarely has ulterior motives. As a matter of fact, he is too innocent and naive, and as a result, he is the favorite victim of swindlers. Still, the guileless Boar is fortunate in the sense that he will always find people to help him even though he does not go around begging for favors. He would prefer to be on the giving end, and when he is in a position to help you, you can be sure he will extend his hand. Fortune will favor him in many respects because of his all-round goodness and faith in his fellowmen. The Boar believes in miracles and miracles will happen to him.

Calm and understanding, the Boar is a genial fellow who can and will tolerate a lot of nonsense from his friends. He is quick tempered too, but since he hates quarreling, he will end up giving his opponents the benefit of the doubt. All told, he is one of the most accommodating.

A person born in this year will be a great fund-raiser He will have a penchant for social work and charity because a spirit of selflessness prevails over such functions and because he seeks to identify with as many people as possible.

When the world is cruel to you and fate has dealt you a stinging blow, run to a Boar. Author of the Good Neighbor policy, he will welcome you and your troubles with open arms. He is a good listener and even when you are definitely in the wrong, he will never have the heart to tell you so. He will do what he can without rubbing any salt into your wounds. He'll even get others involved. He'll call upon his Masonic brothers or hold a fund-raising dinner to help pay your debts. The Boar doesn't mind commitments. He's made for them. He has a good strong back and the biggest heart that can be found. These are no mean virtues by any standard and pretty hard to come by wherever you go. With a Boar, it is simply, "ask and you shall receive."

Now, to be perfectly fair, we must see the other side of the coin. While the Boar may be generosity itself, he also adheres to the "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine" maxim.
When your Boar friend comes calling, he will help himself to your food, your wine, your clothes, your new golf set, your latest camera, your car, etc., with relative ease and childlike simplicity. Telling him off could be a problem. He will respond with great disbelief and hurt. He won't understand or accept your one-way street mentality.

Ms. Boar will be either spotlessly clean or terribly untidy. All Boars tend to come in these two categories and there are only rare cases of in-betweens. Nonetheless, she will be very personable and modest. She will devote every ounce of energy she has to the objects of her affection and ask for very little in return. You will be able to identify her by her remarkable purity of expression and trusting ways. Yet, although she loves with total abandonment, she will show a preference for anonymity or even secrecy. She can worship someone at a distance for years or serve him with passionate devotion without his knowing about it. She could play the perfect hostess to her husband's cronies and spoil the children by constantly answering to their beck and call--not to mention picking up after them all the time. But she won't mind, and when she does complain, it will be mild. Actually, she loves tending to her family and will look upon them not as burdens but as her pride and joy. With her, it will be a labor of love. Wherever she presides, people will congregate in an atmosphere of happiness and contentment.

Defenseless against deception, the Boar person likes to trust everyone and will believe almost anything they tell him, even if they are strangers or people he knows superficially. Needless to say, the Boar and his money are easily parted. The unsophisticated Boar should avoid handling finances. With him, it could be, "easy come, easy go." He is soft-hearted and too sympathetic to hold the purse strings.

By nature, the Boar is a materialist, yet he loves to share whatever he has. The more he gives, the more he seems to have. Unselfish and unassuming, he is surrounded by an ever-widening circle of friends whom he will allow to take advantage of him. He has equal need of them, too, as the sociable Boar must always feel part of the gang and enjoys footing the bills and being looked up to.

On the other hand, he is also thick-skinned and can dismiss insults and unpleasantries with a shrug. He does not like to look too far beyond tomorrow. It may be these traits that will help him recover quickly from the misfortunes that may befall him. The gregarious Boar just does not take calamity all that seriously.

Behind the sweet and reasonable facade of the Boar,there hides a remarkable power of resoluteness. He can take the seat of authority any time he pleases, but the Boar is his own worst enemy. His scruples always get the better of him and serve more as a hindrance to his progress than anything else. On the other hand, when he is pushed to the limit, he can respond savagely and turn into a raging foe. He can summon up tremendous energy and perform Herculean feats.

While the Boar may appear gullible, he may be smarter than you dream. Actually, he knows how to care for his interests in an inoffensive manner, and by allowing you to take him for a ride, he may just be giving you enough rope to hang yourself. The Chinese saying "What is yours will always find a way to come back to you" applies to the Boar's policy in full force.

Anyway, being of scrupulous makeup, the Boar will rarely be a trickster or thief. He is all too uncomfortable with ill-gotten gain and will be haunted by severe guilt feeling over the slightest transgression.

Once the Boar is driven to litigation--everyone loses. He may be barricaded by an army of lawyers or even held incommunicado by those familiar with his forgiving nature. He doesn't really hate you and personally regrets being the instrument of bitterness, but once his legal advisors have set the wheels into motion he is forced to go along with the suit. Even when he does win, he may be plagued by remorse for the rest of his life. Tangling in lawsuits will get the Boar dragged deep into the mud of the legal pit. His involvements in legal cases are often doomed to be long and complicated.

Being a sensuous creature, the Boar has strong passions. Endowed with extraordinary vigor and stamina, he is admired for putting his heart and soul into his work. Then again, his very strength could turn out to be his undoing. Because of the fact that his virility and vitality are above average, the Boar will love to savor the good things in life without restriction. If he is unable to check his enormous appetites and practice self-control, the Boar will be corrupted or debased by people who know how to exploit his frailties.

The honest Boar loves with all his heart. He is very considerate as a rule and does not know how to camouflage his emotions. In a love affair, he or she is most likely to end up as the injured party. He could carry the torch for years to come.

His main fault will be his inability to say "No" firmly to himself, his family and his friends. In some cases, he will oblige others by making concessions that it would be wiser to avoid and end up in a heap of trouble. However, when difficulties result, he will bear the blame and burden uncomplainingly. He will become bankrupt at least once in his life, but he will always manage to make a comeback, brighter and bolder than before. The secret of his success lies in his good faith, generosity and resilience.

The Boar will elect to work hard in life, and he will play just as hard, too, so long as he can use up his bountiful supply of energy. With his basic aptitude and conscientiousness, he will triumph and provide well for those about him. His life is fated to be blessed with all he will need and the money, power and success that comes to him will be unselfishly shared with one and all. With his robust and free-spending ways, the burly Boar will always be found living it up. He is the perfect friend, forever willing to do you another favor, or lend you another dollar. Maybe this explains why he is so lucky! At times, it seems he owns the Horn of Plenty.

Although intelligent and well-informed (everyone will somehow tell the Boar his secrets), the Boar person is not deep. He accepts things at face value and wouldrather conceal the misgivings he has about others in order to keep the peace.

But it is also said that the boar has a fatalistic streak to his nature and when he has nothing further to lose, he could turn into the most negative and debauched of creatures, throwing himself into an abyss of self-gratification and eventual destruction.

Most of the Boar's problems stem from his overgenerous character. If he could contain his basic urge to do too much for others and to promise more than he can deliver, he should have few major upsets.

Much Obliged

Things I am thankful for:

My Mamaw, Mom and Kneeholeon. There are some cool chicks in my family.

Anne – she is just the damn best. She listens to me and gives me the advice I need whether I want it or not.

Being raised in The Great Lone Star State. It’s a Texas thing. Y’all just wouldn’t understand.

My interaction with animals and my pets. The meanest horse in the pasture just loves me. Hell, I even had a 25 minute conversation with a fox at a cemetery once. I did all the talking. He was a great listener and just sat there and looked at me. It must be the Injun in me.

The Injun in me.

I am glad to be the gay and/or foreign magnet. I have met some really cool people in my time. I do appreciate my straight and/or American friends too.

My ability to socialize with CEOs, Presidents and celebrities. Then being able to have interesting conversations with normal people. You know, people that really work.

Thank God for my boobs. I just love them. They are fun. When I get Work when I am 40, I am going to have them made into perfection so they can proudly stare the world in the face. And then poke it in the eye and have it thank me for doing so.

I can cook. I mean I can cook like a son of a bitch.

I can adapt to any given place. I can navigate the streets of New York, London and Paris. I can drive a tractor and groom a horse. I can swim in the ocean and pick coconuts and bananas. I like to sit at the top of a mountain for hours and just take it all in. I can find contentment just about anywhere.

The friendships I have sustained for many a year.

I am thankful for my thoughtfulness and generosity. These are the best qualities I possess. I get them from my Mamaw.

I am glad I have my wits about me. I have been fairly successful without ever stepping into an institution of higher learning. There is something to be said for self-education. Not because you have to, but because you want to.

I am thankful for all the opportunities presented to me whenever they occur.

My bluntness and sometimes brashness. You never have to wonder about where you stand with me. I will tell you.

I am glad to have been the most popular girl in the room a time or two.

My appreciation of the arts. I totally get it. When my friends come to NYC, I conduct Speed Met – a 1.5 hour tour of The Metropolitan Museum of Art, specializing in all my favorite works and honing in on what also appeals to them. And I do it for free. I could also do Speed Louvre. Speed Kimball I can do blindfolded.

My good humor.

I have a backyard in NYC. I am gonna fix it up right this summer. A pool, flowers, a new BBQ and table with umbrella, chairs and chaises. and a Texas flag flying high.

I have nice handwriting.

I am grateful for the traveling I have done and will be doing in the near future.

I can hold my liquor.

My spirituality.

Lessons learned and no regrets.

And So It Goes . . .

I know it seems like I have been a perpetual bitcher for a few months now. Well, it doesn't seem that way, I have been. It's just life has taken a bizarre turn and nothing is going right. I do realize 'All or Nothing' mirrors my personality to a tee, but this is becoming ridiculous. Thank God I have a sense of humor and I can laugh at just about anything. So, yes, I bitch a lot, but yes, I try to keep it funny or at the very least make it descriptively entertaining for y'all. I do look back on times like these and am thankful for them. They do make you stronger and make your Scrapbook of Life more interesting.

Here are today’s rants:

- My paycheck was short over $100 today. That blows in a bad way, since I was planning on using that $100 for other things that I don’t even need.

- No, I am not politically correct ALL the time, but I am morally sound and a decent person. Not the most decent, I am no saint, but a decent decent person.

- The Eastern Injun store across the street ran out of Dr. Pepper.

- It really queezes me when people are so germaphobic that they are going to get someone else’s ass-germs on their ass when using the toilet, that they use the paper toilet seat covers - then when finished they leave their toilet seat covers on the toilet so that someone else has to get their ass-germs on someone else’s hands. I guess they do not want to get their ass-germs on their own hands. Nasty asses. I mean, if you think about it, that's not doing anything - your hoo-hoo is still exposed. Now, they have made me a germaphobe. What ever happened to the seventies when your mom would just hold you 8 feet over the toilet seat?

- I have an interview tomorrow with Viacom Legal. Whatever.

- Who would anyone wear high heels when walking through 4-7 inches of slush and dirty melting snow? All for the sake of fashion. They will spend $400 on a pair of boots but not even give that homeless guy a dime and he obviously needs it. Even if he doesn’t need it, he has been standing out there begging for the past 6 hours so he has to be cold. Give the guy a break and a dime so he can be 10 cents closer to a hot cup of coffee. If he suffers through the humiliation and cold, then he has more than earned it. And no, he can’t just go and get a job. By law you need an address and if you are truly homeless, then you would not have one of those. It is a Catch 22, like everything in life, and I can sympathize with that. Bless his heart.

Soon enough I will have something to be a happy-ass about and I will write about it. I am just a little bummed and struggling a bit, that’s all. I know I am blessed in many ways and I am not ungrateful for that.

The Sky Is Falling

I am having my first snow in New York this year today. Not really snow, just piled up sleet. It was real pretty when I came to work this morning, but now it looks like dirty slush on the road. Perfect weather for me to bust my ass while trying to get to the train.


I am having a My Bloody Valentines Day night tonite. I am going to eat a rare steak, watch a scary movie and have some red wine. Then I am going to contemplate where all my relationships went wrong. Not where I went wrong of course. I have figured out it is not me. If it is me, then I really just can't care.


Speaking of which, I have lost someone that is very close to my heart. No, he's not dead, just being a complete ass over something so minor and stupid that I cannot even fathom it on my dumbest of days. I can't ask, because he is not talking to me. Still, I am heartsick over it.


What's a girl to do?

Long Gone Day

Just fits my current thoughts . . .

So much blood I'm starting to drown
Runs from cold to colder
Time to time the sky's come down
To help me lose my way
Tears and lies for answers
You and open veins,
God knows I'm gone
Girl I just want you to
Come on down

Lord it's a storm and I'm heading to fall
These sins are mine and I've done wrong,
Oh babe
Come on down

Long Gone Day
Mmmm, who ever said we wash away with the rain

See you all from time to time
Isn't it so strange how far away we all are now
Am I the only one who remembers that summer
Oh, I remember
Everyday each time the place was saved
The music that we made
The wind has carried all of that away

Long gone day
Mmmm, who ever said we wash away with the rain

So many tears I'm starting to drown
The rain in heaven's all come down
Silver spoons affix the crown
The luckless ones are broken
Fears and lies for answers
You and open flames
God knows I'm gone
And I just want you to
Come on down

hmmm Lord it's a storm and I'm heading to fall
These sins are mine and I've done wrong
I want you to
Oh, I just want you to
Come on down
I fear again, like then, I've lost my way
And shout to God to bring my sunny day

Honkeys

During my recent illness, the weather was not cooperating with me. I needed some Nyquil and it was 9 out. That is not an exaggeration. It was 9. With the wind chill, it was -3 degrees F.

I hate getting dressed for walking less than 2 blocks. I had on shorts, a t-shirt and some fuzzy flip-flops. I slung on my hobbit coat and proceeded to go to the store. To get to the store, you walk out my door, turn left and cross the street. No big deal.

While waiting for the light to change at the cross-walk, everybody driving by was honking at me. After 5 cars I thought it was because my hobbit coat goes past my knees and they presumed I had on no clothes under my coat. Even if I didn't, it is New York, so who cares?

After getting across the street I noticed something was stuck to the back of my coat in my hair. After 5 more cars drove by honking, full of church goers no less, I realized there was a dirty pair of panties stuck to the back of my coat.

Yeah, I know. I am neat.