Texas, Bad Dreams, and Trader Joes

I leave for Texas tomorrow. I am leaving work at 4:30 pm EST and not coming to work Wednesday. I am getting to the airport early and trying to fly stand-by.

Here is a tip from Rick - no matter how hot Matthew McConaughey is and no matter how much you love football or movies, do not watch We Are Marshall 2 days before you fly. I had dreams of my plane crashing after being torn to shreds in a firey blast all night long last night. Not good. I never used to have problems flying, but now I get Travel Anxiety so damn bad. Not enough to keep me grounded, but enough to queeze me.

I have to go to Trader Joes and bring some coffee to Texas with me. I like what I like.

Hooked on Heroes, Sleeping Good, Daydreaming and I’m Going To Texas

I watch 24 and love every second of it. Everybody kept telling me to watch Hereos and I was like “Eh”. Well, I did watch the first season this weekend and I am so hooked!!! Not Harry Potter hooked, but hooked nonetheless.

I have been rather exhausted lately and I slept for 12.5 hours Friday night. I woke up and felt like a new person. Except for this pain I have in my foot that has been there about 2 weeks now. Not only does my foot hurt, but it now hurts from my foot all the way up the back of my leg to behind my knee. I don’t think this is anything a 90 minute massage could not take care of, but I swear, as soon as I get my shit together I am getting all my health issues taken care of. I am not weak and I am not ill. I do have asthma and I hate that, but it is nothing I cannot control and I will not let it hamper my activities.

I wish to move again, some place far far away. And I wish to live someplace cute and comfortable. WITH seasons. And nice people. And with all the comforts and amenities. Isis and Elwood would like it and have windows where they can see outside. With a big roaring fireplace. And a big blue swimming pool. And a pony. Yeah. That’s right. A pony. A pony that I got from a Rescue place. And some puffy sheep that I also rescued. I don't think I want to do big city anymore. I want to live in the country. But just down the road from a big city. You know, just in case. I really wish I could find a place that has a milk-man. I have never had milk from a milk-man before. And I want a red bike with a basket and a bell. Hmmmmmmmmm. And I want a big kitchen so I can bake a pie and sit it on the big window sill in the breakfast nook.

I leave for Texas in 9 days.

Farm Aid, 9/11, Wrap Party, & Vacations

Kirsten and I went to Farm Aid yesterday to see Willie Nelson. They had several other people there too – The Allman Brother’s, Neil Young, John Cougar Mellancamp, Dave Matthews Band – but we both just wanted to see Willie. He was AMAZING and I liked the way he kept saying “Silk Soy”, the corporate sponsor of Farm Aid.

Since Kirsten and I are both from Texas, we both came to the conclusion that concerts in New York are a whole different story and not in a good way. There were a lot of show-ponies in the audience and the actual music was an afterthought. I also think it is hard for many New Yorkers to kick back and have a good time without thinking they have to do a million things and be seen and heard and just running around like maniacs. Like a whole venue full of an ADD/OCD-stricken culture with me and Kirsten just people watching the whole time. So it was virtually impossible for people acting like this not to receive nicknames. There was Injun-Asian, her boyfriend Eleven, Paris Hilton to our right, Red Head up front, Park Slope Family that was fast friends with Butt Crack, Baby Got Back in front of Eleven whose skirt was way shorter in the back and should not have been, Prancer, the buffed up tattooed guy that pretty much just walked around, Backpack, the guy sitting to the right of me that read a book/manual about a backpack all day long, bless his heart – he had a duffel and I think he really wanted that back pack, which he could have bought with the $60+ for the Farm Aid ticket that was pretty much wasted on him. Our favorite was Purple. Purple was a man in a purple tie-dyed shirt and straw hat with the little rope under his chin that was dancing around like a typical middle aged good-ole-boy tripping on acid and scaring all the young girls he came in contact with. He met up mid- concert with Gray, his kindred spirit that was very much like him but bald and in a solid gray t-shirt. Purple had a girlfriend that wore a shorts turquoise one-sie with a red bandanna tied around her forehead. Every one in a while we would lose Purple in the crowd, but he always returned. It turned out Red Head used to date Kirsten’s Aunt and he was real nice and real loud and crazy and he was saying something and walked off and we never saw him again. I think it had something to do with beer and a bathroom.

Tomorrow is the Anniversary of 9/11. It seems like a lifetime ago, but just hours ago at the same time. I always recall thinking on 9/12 “What a difference a day has made” and how life since then has never been the same.

Next week I get to go to the Go, Diego, Go! Wrap Party at The Bronx Zoo Congo Gorilla Forest and I am way excited. You can bet your sweet ass I am going to try to sneak away and see the rest of the zoo all by my lonesome. I am just afraid of getting locked in.

Texas is coming up. And then Paris. I am stoked.

Bad Movies, Ouch! 5 Times, Clean Cats, Surprises, Pudding Dreams and GC

I got 5 movies this weekend and they all sucked. Year of the Dog was TERRIBLE, The Dog Problem was cute but could have been written by a daft 14 year-old, Cache was creepy and one scene completely floored me but it ended in a ridiculous manner and Apres Vous was no good and I could not even finish it. The worst was Perfect Stranger. Halle Berry overacted so much you would have thought she was in a Shakespearean Festival at The Globe. But do see Trudell – it is a pretty cool documentary.

I was so unbelievably off-balance this weekend.
1. I have this new shea oil gel that I use right after the shower. Well, I guess some got on my foot because when I stepped out of the shower I kind of slipped and proceeded to do the splits – the very very wrong way. I pulled a muscle in my butt and all I could do was fall forward on the wall and wait for about 3 minutes until I could feel my butt again. It was immense pain, but I could feel something.
2. I have been feeding Stray Cat this week and he will only eat off the top of the ledge which is about 10 feet tall. So he showed up and I got up to get the red stool. I filled up the bowl and climbed the stool and was setting the bowl down when I saw a firefly and then lost my balance, the bowl of food spilled onto my head and hit the ground, I was holding on to the wall while the stool fell over and then I managed a soft landing right on my ass. It turns out stray cat will come down to basement level to eat as he didn’t even wait until I left before he came down to eat the food I spilled.
3. Something happened to my foot and I cannot pop my toe.
4. I sitting on the floor in front of the 5 foot tall mirror drying my hair when the mirror toppled over and hit me right in the head. I fell back and just laid there blowing the hot air on my head to keep it from hurting. Unfortunately after a while it burned. I am fortunate the glass did not break.
5. See # 2 of the Dreams section.

I successfully vacuumed my cats this weekend. I just have to put the brush attachment on the end and start brushing them before I turn it on. Miracles, I say.

I did have a few nice surprises this weekend too, which I will not discuss today.

I made a 4 pound banana pudding last night. It was so good. But I think it gave me nightmares of all varieties last night.
1. I dreamed I was flying to Malaysia and I had vast amounts of Travel Anxiety whilst in the air and only 17 hours to go.
2. I woke up at 3:15 screaming my head off and I fell out of bed and I don’t know why.
3. I dreamed I met Ed Norton and he came to work with me. I told him I had something really important to tell him and when I opened my mouth, I burped. I woke up completely appalled and embarrassed.

And I have attached a scanned picture of the tacky-as-hell business card of Gente Chic, which we affectionately refer to as Genitalia Chick, bless their hearts. I certainly did not look like that after my haircut. And I do not even want to know what Corporal Treatment is.