Werking, Tourists, Miss Potter, Allergies STILL & Cuban Anyone?

I have a new gig this week. I am working at The Backyardigans in Production. It’s cool. Anytime you ever have a gig to do with Nickelodeon or Nick Jr., the people you work with are so nice. It is in the same building as DC comics and I have to tell you, their lobbies are so cool! You feel like you are walking into the League of Justice, or what ever it is called. Mad magazine is also there.

How do you find a tourist in New York City? Just find Ricki Ewing and they will be moseying in front of her or stepping on her heels while all the other tourists box her in on the side. They go just one speed – snail.

I saw Miss Potter this weekend and I loved it. I knew I would. It is the story of Beatrix Potter (The creator of Peter Rabbit) and how she was a pioneer for women and preserving the environment. It is very Pride and Prejudice-y.

After several weeks, I still have allergy problems. I look way better than I feel. I feel like a red-eyed booger making machine that sprays snot as far as her swollen itchy red eyes can see. Bless my gross little heart!

I am having Cuban tonight. Empanadas, roast pork, plantains, yellow rice with black beans and a mojito. Maybe even some flan. Oh come on! You gotta try some flan!

Speaking of Cuban, did Castro die? I can't keep up with any news anymore. Did Bob Hope die? What about that other real old man?

Funny commercial

Some Movies, Confused, Stow Away and Sinfully Delectable

Ok, I am going to talk some movies now. Harry Potter comes out next month and I cannot wait. I am actually more excited about the book release. Hopefully this year I can do what I did last time. While everyone is waiting at all the major book stores for midnight to strike, I can go to Eckerd and find some poor ‘this is my first job’ teenager to sell it to me at 10:00 the night before. I was well on my way to Chapter 6 before any one else even got to open the book.

Apocolypto – I have never seen such a not-feel-good movie in my entire life. I like a little violence or a lot depending on what the subject matter is, but this was ridiculous, not to mention, and I am not shitting you, i was terrified that the Mayans would rise again and go on a sacrificial spree for the sun to make up for lost time. It was unfortunately for me, unforgettable. I wish bootleg lady never sold it to me. I am thankful I didn’t see it at the theater and I could watch it in fast forward. It wasn’t like they were speaking in English or anything and trust me, you didn’t need to know what they were saying anyway.

Mr. Brooks – Kevin Costner is still a hot-ass-McGee. This movie is about a Man of The Year that is actually a serial killer that no one has ever been able to catch. I like movies where you are actually cheering on the bad guy.

Knocked Up – Not funny. Maybe it is just me. I didn’t like the 40 Year Old Virgin or Wedding Crashers either and everyone just raved about them. Probably my warped sense of humor.

Shrek 3 – Not as funny as Shrek 2.

Fight Club – If you haven’t seen this I can no longer associate myself with you. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is.

I think this weekend I am going to go see 1408. Maybe I will just get it from Bootleg Lady since Clint will be gone all weekend long. It is supposed to be scary and if I feel I have no commitment to stay or be a hero, then I will bolt if I am scared.

I saw a man on the train this morning with the biggest feet I have ever seen. Eyeing from his feet up my eyes came across his uncommonly small hands. I was/am so confused. Was it or wasn’t it? I could have asked but all men would say the same thing. That and I didn’t fell like appearing to be a common whore on my commute to work.

I am now looking at a cruise ship outside the window I am sitting by. I wonder how super-sleuthy I would have to be to sneak on. Being a travel expert, I know it is going to Bermuda. It just sounds so good right now.

Mungry and I am craving 2 things: 1. Krispy Kreme doughnuts. More sinful than the Diabolical Trio, Rice Krispy Treats, as Krispy Kremes are fried and melt in your mouth. Both of them spell their names with a K. And 2. A chopped beef sandwich from Angelo’s in Fort Worth. Bobby Flay named this the best BBQ joint in America. He is right and it for years won the Coldest Beer in Texas Award. Texas is big, y’all, so that is some pretty cold beer.

More Grimness, All Things Fight Club, Meatloaf & Allergies

In trying to keep in the spirit of positive thinking, I have been pondering some not-so-positive happenings lately, so I am going to air them now and then let them go in hopes I may continue on my happy-ass way. Questioning these things changes nothing.

After my best friend's daddy passed away on Thursday and my mom had to put down Kneehole's Jen Dawg on Friday, I found out my friend Robert's cat was put down on Saturday. I also found out my cousin died in Iraq. Grimness.

I was so sad this weekend I pretty much did nothing except watch Fight Club about 6 times. It was the only thing that made me completely take my mind off reality. Until I thought about Meatloaf.

This is not your mother's meatloaf. It is the singer Meatloaf that plays Bob in Fight Club. Bob has bitch tits. He is a man with testicular cancer that went through hormone therapy and his estrogen shot up and he grew boobs. They "hung enormous the way you'd think of God's as big".

Anyway, I was thinking of Meatloaf and the only song of his I know called I Would Do Anything For Love. Then I started thinking about relationships. They are hard. I believe if you are in the right relationship, it pretty much flows effortlessly. Hence, why I currently believe relationships are hard. Back to the song - 2 things; 1. This song is so poor-pussy with such an upbeat background, you don't realize how whiny it is. 2. He sings "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that. No. I won't do that." What is the 'That' in that statement? I know girls that wouldn't do 'That'. Of course their men broke it off after a short while or cheated on them or they just kept quiet and led a miserable life without 'That'. Gentlemen. If you are a big fan of 'That' and your chick wouldn't do 'That' while you were dating, what the hell makes you think she would do 'That' after the ball and chain came into play? Not that I condone such behavior, or condone the lack of it. Hell, I say do 'That' and enjoy it. While you are at it, do "This' and 'The Other' too. Everything that can be done has been done and you only live once. I am one of those fun girls. But I am also a Southern/Texas hybrid female so you don't know I am one of those fun girls. No, you think I am a prudish, Betty Crocker with impeccable manners, good taste, and a sharp wit mixed with a bit of a shocking and brash potty mouth.

My allergies have been in a 'take no prisoners' attack since Saturday. Mostly, my eyes have been bothering me in such a way that while I slumber, I rub my eyes. When I woke up yesterday morning, both my eyes were bloodshot and swollen and my left eye had a nice blueish bruise. On the train ride to work, a very non-Southern man asked me "Man! What happened to your eye?!" Once again, 2 things here; 1. I am not a man. I have bitch tits for a reason. 2. How rude is it to ask a girl you don't even know what is wrong with one of her prominent physical features? Well, being the Southern/Texas hybrid you read about earlier, I wasn't going to cook for him, I didn't have on my best outfit and I had no intention to ever do 'That' to him, so for the sake of good manners, I answered him in a rather smart ass way by reciting the rules of Fight Club. I received a puzzled look and he moved. I would have really liked to punch him in the face.

Seriously, if you have not seen this movie, go purchase it immediately.

Grimness

My best friend's daddy passed away Thursday morning. He was very sick and they have been expecting it for a while. You can never prepare yourself for such things. When she told me I was so shocked. He was such a great man with a booming Southern voice and such personality and such spirit. I just loved him. I feel so helpless that there is nothing I can do for her or her family to ease anything they are going through right now.

My sister's dog was put down yesterday due to a severe urinary tract infection. My mom didn't know what was going on and Jen Dawg couldn't stand up yesterday morning and had no energy. She rushed her to the vet and they said there was nothing they could do - even if she had surgery, she would still live with a lot of pain, so my mom had to make the very rough decision of having her put down. If your animals ever start peeing deliberately right in front of you when they never did that before, don't get get angry and punish them. Get them to the vet immediately. They are trying to tell you something is wrong and they can't use words to do it and this is they only way they know how. Also, this is a common occurrence with female dogs that are never fixed and never breed. Just trying to save you some pain here. My momma and sister are feeling pretty rough right now. I remember when Kneehole got Jen Dawg. They are so sad.

My daddy is on dialysis and is on the Kidney Transplant List. My sister told me yesterday he had an annual heart test done and his score was about 1/2 of what it should be. His heart has become enlarged which means his survival rate if they did do a transplant has just plummeted and he will be taken off the list.

I am not being poor me, as none of this is about me at all. As I said before, I just feel antsy and helpless being up here away from just about everyone I know and there is nothing I can do. Not that I could do anything if I lived in Texas either, but at least I would be there. I could get them drunk, but that's about it, other than gracing them with my presence. I often wonder why I am still up here anymore.

Hmmmm. There are just no words and no pictures. Forrest Gump said "Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks." That is the best way to describe how I feel.

Viacom, So Hot, My Pool, Ribs and Such, Saint Ralph and Texas In July

The job I have wanted for a year and a half may be coming my way. It is for Corporate Communications at Viacom, the parent company that owns Paramount, MTV Networks and others. I had a formal interview about 6 weeks ago and they called me Friday and want to discuss it Monday. This seems to be a good sign as I cannot think of any other reason they would want to talk to me, unless I am in trouble. I could be in trouble, but I am thinking is may be a job offer. God, I hope I am not in trouble.

I am so hot. I mean, I look like butt today, but I am sitting here sweating oceans. Summer in New York feels like Summer in Houston, and we all should pretty much know Houston is miserable in the Summer. Summer in DFW is pretty much a dry heat. It is just so humid here. But, I did bust out the pool on Thursday and got a nice glow on my face. The picture is of a pool that is similiar to mine and those kids are not getting in my pool, bless their hearts. It was supposed to rain yesterday, today and tomorrow, but I see no sign of that. I bought some Coppertone lotion yesterday because it smells like Summer in my youth. So I am gonna go home and put on the swimsuit, lay in the pool, smell the Coppertone and make ribs, potato salad and grilled corn with some beer and Dr. Pepper and a Strawberry Cake. Mmmmm. Sometimes, I could just kiss myself.

I saw a movie called Saint Ralph the other day. It was pretty cure and actually quite good. See it.

I shall be invading Texas in July even if it is just for a long weekend. So look out! Wal Mart, you better stock up on Ranch Style Beans, Shiner Bock, Big Red and Red Plum Jelly - I cannot get the goods up here. And I am gonna be swimming in a real pool from sunrise until midnight.